Monday, September 12, 2011

Top Ten Reasons to Change Publishers

Whether New York all the way or independent through and through, we all want to make sure we’re making the best decisions for our babies (read: books), and it’s not always easy to find the right house for your work, but here are ten reasons you might consider changing publishers.

10.  Your publisher is your Great-Aunt Martha who prints books in her basement.

9.    A clause in your contract says you must wear MC Hammer pants to publishing functions.

8.    Your publisher still uses papyrus as its publishing medium.

7.    Your book cover artist’s stick figures just aren’t sexy enough.

6.    To determine the publishing queue for the year, the other authors and you must battle it out in a Hunger Games-like competition.

5.    Your female editor ends every conversation with, “Who’s your daddy?”

4.    The publisher is willing to publish if you change the characters, the setting, the plot, oh…and the author.

3.    Your publisher pays you in gum (and it’s not even Trident Layers).

2.    Your Star Wars addicted editor insists you put the words “I am your father” in every book.

1.    For every 1000 books you sell, you win the leg lamp from A Christmas Story.


Joanne Stewart said...

hehehe...I love it. Thanks for the giggle. I love your blog, BTW. Very colorful.

Sarah Grimm said...

While the leg lamp from A Christmas Story wouldn't be my thing, it might be fun to work "I am your father" into all my books. LOL

Great post, Cherie!

Jennifer Jakes said...

These are hilarious! My favorites are # 7 and #9.
Thanks for the giggle;)

Lynne Marshall said...

You have a gift for making me laugh, young lady. Love the lists!

I've already made a contract stipulation that my gum payments shall be BIG RED. Non-negotiable.
still giggling,
Lynne Marshall

Calisa Rhose said...

Ok- number four IS NOT funny! Lol Not when it happens to you in almost that exact way.

Contract gum of choice- Double Bubble

LaVerne Clark said...

Oh dear - I think I've seen some of those covers mentioned in #7 - Thank God we're with The Wild Rose Press! They rock!

Mona Risk said...

Too funny. Thanks for the laugh.

Maeve Greyson said...

Do you know how painful it is to snort diet coke out your nose? Those bubbles sting like the dickens! Loved this post! Thanks for the laugh - but now I must go clean off my laptop. sheesh!


Lilly Gayle said...

Too funny. I had an Great Aunt Martha. She did NOT publish books in her basement. She was on the board of trustees at a college. But I did own a pair of MC Hammer pants. lol!

Cherie Marks said...

Ha-Ha! The responses made me smile. Thanks for stopping by. Maeve, sorry about the diet coke.

Elke Feuer said...

LMAO and snorted a few times too. Thanks. I needed that!

Caroline Clemmons said...

Thanks for the humor break.