Monday, March 28, 2011

Make It Better Mondays

As an almost published author, I have to say a BIG thank you to every person who helped me with my writing either through reading, critiquing, or just encouraging words.  Now, I'm hardly an expert, but one of my goals as a writer is to give more back than I take, so one of the features for this blog will be "Make It Better Mondays."  I'll post a sentence or short paragraph either from my work, submitted work, or maybe even published work, and the challenge for all will be to make it better.

So, here's the first victim--two sentences from my soon to be published short story, tentatively titled, Into the Fire:

From rehearsals, Shyann remembered that this was her cue to move toward her station and as she stepped forward, her heart began to pound at the reality of cooking one of her best meals in just an hour.  And as if that wasn’t enough pressure, she now had a bet with Luke that she had to win, hands down, or she would be forced to go to dinner with him.

Okay, rip it up, tear it apart, do what you can to "Make It Better."

Also, if you have a sentence or paragraph that you'd like for us to take a look at, either e-mail me or leave it in a comment on the blog.

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